Friendly Face

In a city of 22 million it is a rare thing to see a familiar face. You pass the people on the streets, in crowds, in your building, but rarely do you see the same face twice. Over the past few days I have slowly been building rapport with the bicycle repair man who sets up shop daily, come snow or shine on the corner by my hotel. For two weeks now, I have walked by him twice daily. He is always there by the time I leave for class, and is still there on my return unless I get in quite late.

The first week as I would pass him he would be sitting there in his big army coat and simply stare at me as I passed by. I would glance at him and just return his stare. Yesterday we broke new ground though. I was walking past him and he was giving me the usual stare/glare. I looked over and caught his attention and stared straight at him. He looked at me almost like he was mad, and I looked back I gave him the biggest smile I could, followed by a Ni hao...He couldn't suppress the stare any longer and burst into the biggest smile ever!

On my way home I saw him and we repeated this exchange. This morning I was walking by when I caught him looking down the block to catch a glimpse so he would know precisely when I approached. He had his head turned slightly like he didn't see me but when I approached he turned quickly, gave me a somber look and waited to see how I would respond. I just smiled and nodded, he did the same. As I returned home this evening he sat with his arms crossed and looked at me with a much softer look on his face. Almost before I could get the words Ni Hao off my tongue he responded with , "Ni Hao!" and a gigantic smile. I just chuckled and he laughed back, seemingly enjoying this game of hello.

I have been observing the relationship between a Chinese man and woman. For instance, the couple will ride together on their bicycle or scooter in the mornings. I saw a couple today. He came to a quick stop, she dismounted the bicycle, grabbed her bag and quickly walked away. There was no peck on the cheek, a goodbye or I love you. They never even acknowledged each other, she simply dismounted the bicycle and walked away. They only times I have seen affections between men and women here are usually an American or European man and a Chinese woman. They hold hands, hug and laugh. The women seem happy and it brings out a softer side of them, I really like to see this.

I have a man, probably mid-late 30's in my class. Today he came in and his face lit up when he saw me. I approached and spoke with him for a long time. He speaks fairly good english (which he kept hidden in the first class) and I really enjoy him. We spoke of our families, our goals and our ages. God Bless him, he said he thought I could not be more than 35 :) I had told him I had been here in '88 and he asked if my parents brought me as a child. He was good! I told him my chinese name given to me yesterday. I was very happy with it: Bo Ya...it means: accomplished elegance. I was so excited with it. As he was leaving this afternoon he looked at me and said, "Your name is not a very good one. Your chinese name I mean." I asked him if he would give me one. He sat down and began thinking. I then asked if he would return next week and he said, "Of course." I asked him to just bring it then. He stood, he smiled and he reached out and held my hand. "Thank you for this honor and for trusting me," he said. It was awesome!

I can't wait now to see what name Shuyun gives me. I also can't wait to see my bicycle repair man. I am looking forward to the relationship that develops and to see if he will actually break all barriers and be the first to smile, the first to talk. Maybe I will even get up the courage to say more than hello. I think I will work on, "Have a nice day."

Tonight I found a Japanese Ramen House and had a wonderful bowl of freshly made ramen noodles. It was really good. After dinner I walked for about a mile or so, alone, in the dark. I have never felt safer than I do here. Maybe it is because the men are not interested in attacking you, stealing your money or harming you. I have found they are more interested in simply staring and gaining your trust. It has been an awesome day and once again I go to sleep rather happy and satisfied.